Hi again. Have you missed me? I know I’ve been absent from both taking calls and updating my blog but really, I have an excuse. I went on vacation … and it’s taken me about 3 weeks to get back in the swing of things (yes, my vacation was THAT relaxing). And then today, I was reminded of how long it’s really been since we’ve had any time together! I was shocked and appalled! How could I have left you all so bereft of my presence for so long? Which of you is brave enough to spank me for my indiscretion? (sounds of crickets) No one? Not a single one of you is brave enough to lay your hands on my perfectly delectable ass? And what if the invitation were to worship my ass? How many of you would stand up and take notice then, hmm?
Some of you are aware, of course, that I have my groceries delivered using a service provided by the store. It just makes my life easier to be able to shop via my computer and have someone else deliver the bags from the truck to the kitchen (I have an exceptionally evil driveway that is pitched just perfect for sledding … not so much for hefting groceries). One would think that all their packaging rules would remain the same across the board, yes? Apparently not. If you visit the website for this service and you want to order bananas, you have to specify exactly how many bananas you want. If you type 1 (one), as in ONE bunch … you do not receive ONE bunch. You receive ONE banana. I learned this the hard way. OK, so after a trial and error, one would assume that ALL of their “loose grocery” are packaged thusly … if you want ONE of something, you type ONE. I wanted bagels. I’ve had a taste for them for about a week and decided to get some on my next order. Remember, their “loose grocery” is one for one according to my experience. I want a dozen bagels … so I typed in “12″ and went along my merry way. Then I remembered that havoc doesn’t like cinnamon raisin bagels (she’s odd, I know) … so I decide to get her a half dozen plain bagels. So I entered “6″ and continued along, finally setting my groceries to be delivered the next day, while I was sleeping. (Another reason I get them delivered … I can sleep through the experience). So I woke up the next morning, came up the stairs and was greeted with a rather interesting sight.
Now, there are those of us out there who automatically see the “sex” in everything … we are prone to pointing out the obvious phallic symbols in most advertisements, joking about “dirty talk” references in every day conversation. Some might argue that we go out of our way to find such symbolism in the every day. Some might even argue that our sexuality is evident in our shopping habits … for example, an Alpha Female lesbian might be inclined to subconsciously order bagels because they are reminiscent of a woman’s pussy. Warm, soft and tight in the middle … Much in the same way a true faggot might decide to suddenly order creme horns so he can get in some cocksucking lessons? Of course, I would say this is absolute nonsense …
Because then I would have to admit that I’d actually ordered 72 bagels and they were sitting on my kitchen counter with a VERY confused submissive looking at me as though I’d lost my mind. Which I haven’t … I just REALLY like bagels … you believe me … don’t you?
So, to recap … The grocery delivery company caused me to pervert my breakfast choice and, I figure by the end of next week, I’ll never want to see another bagel again … I just hope this doesn’t change my sexuality … I really don’t like creme horns that much!
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Of course I missed you, MsRyan! And no. I am not brave enough to spank your ass, The other thing sounds more delightful though,
I’m glad the vacation was that good too,
I use that service too but now I’ll make sure not to get too many of something.
Welcome back and glad you had a relaxing vacation! Hmmm, would lox on a bagel be chastity?:)