The spa on board is supposedly quite posh and I’m looking forward to having a poolside massage, a few umbrella-laden mixed drinks and not having to worry about anything more pressing than whether I’ve gotten sunscreen in all the delicate areas of my body (how many of you would volunteer for the job of massaging worshiping protecting every inch of my body?). And who knows what trouble I can stir up once we arrive in King’s Port?  It’s an entire island, just ripe for the plucking … using my charms, my erotic voice and my long, sexy legs.  It’s almost enough to make you want to warn them, isn’t it?

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Which brought our conversation around to my favourite subject … strapons and faggots.  Upon returning to the house, I shared my latest acquisition  … a strapon I shall refer to as the Filthy Fifteen.  He’s long, thick and just perfect for lessons in advanced cock sucking technique (you can’t help but deep throat him!), which Ms Hunter has sworn to me she’s going to teach all of her little forced cum eating bitches.  I showed her the special harness I had made for Filthy, so I can keep him erect while riding low against my hips and she offered a few suggestions for adjustments that put him in just the right spot.

However, the evening eventually had to wind down (my filthy phone boys were waiting!) and, as she was leaving I joked with Ms Hunter that she was so mean for leaving just after I’d introduced her to my new strapon.  Her reply to me, while smiling in that secretive little way she has was to look right in my eyes and say “But Ryan … he’s just not big enough!”

She ran out to her car, laughing the whole way down the driveway …

For an erotic phone session with Ryan, call 800-601-6975
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She tried discreetly inquiring with several Mistresses but no one has confessed to absconding with her huge strapon cock.  It apparently happened at some point during the last few evenings we were together when we were playing with him in the pool and she’s distraught.  I can only imagine how terrible it must be to lose something as … powerful … as Fat Cock.  I mean, if I’d lost one of my 15 strapons I just don’t know what I would do!

Ms Hunter started a blog to spread the word about her missing strapon and whoever took him has posted, torturing poor Ms Hunter with hints as to who might have taken him but not providing any contact information, or even being decent enough to offer to return him in exchange for some compensation or ransom.  (Although, having seen Fat Cock, I don’t know that I could put a price on him … he’s just massive)

So, we are trying to notify everyone to keep their eyes out for Fat Cock, or any Mistresses making mention of having acquired a new toy of some significant … girth.  Every mention helps so we can bring Fat Cock Home.

For an erotic phone session with Empress Ryan, call 800-601-6975
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Calls are $2.50 per minute,. with a 10 minute minimum
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Her body is magnificent in a shiny little pink dress that barely hugs her chest and tucks in against her waspish waist. Long legs twine themselves around his jean covered ones as they dance … they look almost perfect together. You can see the shimmer on her arms as she runs her fingers down his powerful, well muscled arms. The way his chest expands when he inhales the perfume she’s wearing causes your heart to flutter in your chest and you can’t help but admire the way he moves every time those strong hips of his thrust … and that’s when you realize your eyes are glued to him and you’ve forgotten about the woman he’s riding up against. Your cock hardens in your pants as you watch him and you lick your lips, thinking about what it would be like to feel him rubbing up against you that way. The pounding beat of bass in the background only provides a rhythm that you can imagine setting as you taste the sweaty muscles at the side of his neck as he drills you against the wall while she watches you lose your faggot cherry.  Shock registers as your mind draws up the image of you screaming against his neck as he penetrates you. You’re STRAIGHT, for fuck’s sake … guys don’t think about things like that! Real men don’t wonder what it would be like to be the bisexual bitch to a real stud! You try to focus on the woman again … to imagine what it would be like to push HER up against the wall and fucking her mindlessly but all your brain will show you are the images of his cock pushing between your lips as she holds your head down between his thighs. You tremble as you sit there with your friends, trying to play off being a real guy … pretending to be turned on by every chick who walks past. Another beer and you find the courage to turn around … to watch them as they dance together again, this time staring right at you as his hands clench her hips and he pulls her backwards … over and over again.

When they leave the dancefloor, walking right past you and he brushes his hard cock against your thigh … you can’t help it … you make your excuses to your friends and you follow …

I’ll give you what you need … the Softer side of Mean

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“Mistress Ryan, I’m so happy to tell you that I finally did it!  I managed to get my mouth on a real cock and suck off a man!”, he sounded as gleeful as a schoolgirl with her first crush.  I could almost see him dancing in place and squeeing.  I inquired as to how it came about and he told me, in graphic detail, all about Carl.

“Well, Carl is a friend of a friend of mine and we’ve hung out a few times.  He’s always been sort of flirty with me but nothing too bold … Now I know he’s bi and it makes more sense but, at the time I didn’t know what to make of his actions.  Well, anyway, we were all hanging out the night of the Superbowl and we’d had a few drinks … Carl was at the house along with 3 or 4 other guys and we watched the game …”, it was here that we took a little sidebar off into our feelings about the Chastity Bowl, which I will spare you the details of.  Suffice to say, we didn’t have the same experiences and I accept that he’s wrong.  Peyton Manning is the devil, dammit!  … Back to the story …

“After the game, everyone was pretty laid back and just wanted to get home so we sort of broke it all up.  Everyone was packing up and heading out and I didn’t realize it until everyone had left and it was just Carl and I in the house.  Like I said, I’d had a few drinks and was feeling a little … brave.  So when he made some comment about sucking, I couldn’t help it Mistress.  I blurted out, before I could stop myself, something like ‘I know how to suck in a good way’.  Mistress, I was so EMBARRASSED!  Carl just looked at me for a second, like he was trying to register what I’d said and then he came over and stood in front of me.  He put his hand on my shoulder and didn’t even say anything … just started pushing, forcing me down to my knees.

“He smiled at me when I went down and let his hand fall off my shoulder when I was kneeling in front of him.  Mistress, even through his jeans I could tell he was big … I mean, I’d been practicing with the dildos just like you taught me but I didn’t think I’d had anything this big before.  And when the time came for me to actually unzip his pants and take his cock out … Mistress, I couldn’t barely wrap my hand around it … I was so scared, I swallowed hard .. and Carl laughed, saying “The swallowing mostly comes AFTER the cock is in your mouth, bitchboy.”

During the entire conversation, I could hear my little faggot wanne be stroking his dick … and I knew reliving the moments before his deflowering were exciting him, so I stopped him and had him fetch his dildo and some lube.  Once he came back, and he lubed up his dildo so everything was slick … I had him tell me all about taking Carl in his mouth, while I took his ass …

It’s good to be the Queen

For an erotic phone session with Mistress Ryan, call 800-601-6975
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Standing innocuously on the edge of the bureau, it seemed so ridiculously out of place that you almost missed it.  Your heart sank as you looked at the Word A Day Calendar on the bedside table and you realized what day it was.  It was THAT Saturday … time to pay up on that damn, stupid bet.  ‘I should have known better than to open my mouth.’, you thought to yourself as you dragged yourself out of bed and tried to ignore it … tried to walk past the bureau without a glance at the offending … thing.  But it was damn near impossible … like trying not to look at a car being pulled over by the police or a parent calming a fit of hysteria in the mall.  It seemed so much larger now that you could see it “in the flesh”, instead of just on the website.   Your mind immediately went back to when you placed the bet … and lost.

“Look, if there’s one thing I know, it’s football.  And I’m telling you there were no teams before 1942 who went undefeated in football!”  Those words were bad enough and, looking back on it, you knew she’d been pushing you into making the bet.  However, it was the next phrase you uttered that was going to haunt you all day.  “I’m willing to bet you anything that I’m right.”

The calculated smile on your wife’s face should have been a warning … but you just KNEW you were right!  “Anything?”, she inquired.

“I tell you what.  I’m so sure that no team before 1942 was undefeated in the regular season of football that I’m willing to let you have your way with me for one week to do anything you want.  But, when you look it up and I’m right, you have to submit to the same thing.”  You were already imagining what she’d look like in a naughty school uniform, with her lips wrapped around your thick shaft.  Once again, you thought, you should have stopped yourself before being so arrogant.  But damnit, this was FOOTBALL we were talking about!  She grinned as she walked away, calling over her shoulder that she’d enjoy her victory.  You shrugged, went back into the living room and sat down to watch the news.  Almost immediately, you were lost in the top stories about local politics and global economy.  You forgot about the bet and enjoyed the rest of the day.

Later that night, after dinner had been made and the dishes cleaned, you were laying in bed with your wife.  She snuggled against you, rubbing her body against yours and sliding her fingers down to your shaft.  Curling her hand around the shaft, she kissed your lips as she mounted you and straddled your hard cock with her creamy thighs.  She didn’t sink all the way down but did keep her hand, pulsing with every beat of your heart, softly encircled around your teased cock.  Your hips arched up as she grinned, leaning forward just enough so you could feel how hot and wet her pussy was before she whispered in your ear … “1934″.  With that, she let out a low giggle and removed herself from riding you … her hand stroking up and off your throbbing cock.   It took a moment for you to catch up and you looked at her, quizzically.  “Huh?”

“1934.”

“What the fuck does that have to do with you stroking my cock??”

“Language!  And it has everything to do with it, darling.  Do you remember earlier, in the foyer when we were talking about football and you said, and I quote ‘No team before 1942 was undefeated in the regular season of football’?”

Still somewhat mystified, you nodded.  “I remember, yeah.  Chicago Bears were the only other team to go undefeated in the regul … oh shit.”  A factoid of information blossomed in your head as you recall that yes, it was the Chicago Bears but they’d had a team BEFORE 1942 that had gone undefeated … but it was such obscure knowledge that you couldn’t imagine HOW your wife could have known it … yes, she loved football but really, that was just a random oddity in the footnotes of history.  However, she was grinning like the cheshire cat as she watched the information process into your brain.  She almost read your mind as she casually leaned forward and whispered, “My grandfather was a HUGE Bears fan, you know that baby.  He practically had a man-crush on Ditka.

“Now, about this … what did you call it … ‘one week to do whatever I want to you’?”, she was practically purring in your ear.  All your senses were on high alert … you married a strong, powerful woman who had, in the past, shown an affinity for cruel cockteasing sessions that left your cock almost weeping with need.  But she’d never denied you on any occasion … orgasm always followed the tease sessions and you felt pretty sure that she wouldn’t hold out on you for long … well … almost pretty sure.

What followed was a week of tease and denial the likes of which almost had you insane with need.  Teasing notes, a pair of her panties stuffed into your briefcase and one terrifying visit to an internet adult toy site (of which you were almost pretty sure she was joking) all came together to this one evening.  And you didn’t think you were ready for it, really …

Tonight was the night your wife was going to take your ass-cherry.  And she was going to do it with a 7″ dildo that was sitting on the edge of the bureau.

Today was going to suck …

He was a bit less nervous when he called me the second time.  By now, he knew what to expect and had a clear vision of what was expected of him.  I could still hear that quiver in his voice … after all, he was about to once again get faggot lessons.  This wasn’t something most men were raised to think was “cool” or even “sexy” … but for the special few who crave cum as though it were Beluga Caviar.  I instructed him to put the monster cock in front of him as he knelt on the floor … point up  so he had something to aim for … and to take a few practice licks with his tongue against the head of the 2nd cock.  Once he get the smaller of the two dicks nice and wet, he began bobbing his head back and forth on it … taking it a little deeper with each twist of his mouth until he managed to get 3/4 of that faggot stick down his throat.  He gagged a few times but really, didn’t you choke a bit when you were first learning?  I could tell his excitement was getting to be a little too much from the way he was panting between sucks … I could almost see that slack jawed, glazed over look in his eyes as he began to work his cock harder between his fingers.  He was getting ready to cum all over that monster cock … and I whispered in his ear that I was going to make him clean every incriminating drop of cum from that dildo until the back of his throat burned with the taste of cock.

Moments later … I did just that.

But I wasn’t done with him … not by a long shot … after all, once you suck his dick he’s going to want to put it somewhere …

For erotic phone sessions with Empress Ryan, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+ to call
Calls are $2.50 per minute with a 10 minute minimum
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So, what sorts of things have you asked the Jolly Fat Man for this year?  Did those of you with the humiliated penis syndrome wish for a real cock to be stuffed into your stocking this year?  Or was it the faggots that asked for a good stuffing?  I can never keep up …I know all the femmes asked for sissy panties and makeup … Personally, I told the Ho Ho Maker that I wanted a new purse for Christmas … I’ve been in a mood for a big catchall bag that I can put my strapons AND my cell phone into.  And we all know how big MY strapons are …

Here’s hoping that each of you gets exactly what you want for Christmas … and that all of your gifts are under my tree, just waiting to be opened tomorrow morning

Merry Christmas darlings

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For a erotic phone sex session with Empress Ryan, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+ to call
Calls are $2.50 per minute with a 10 minute minimum
Discretely billed to a major credit card
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His name (unimportant at this point) may as well be yours, for he could be just about anyone.  He’d come to me through a recommendation of another woman … one who was a bit squeamish about delving into realms of forced bi and forced cum eating.  He nervously made an appointment to speak with me … I could almost hear the tremble in his voice when he said that he had no experience but was quite eager to learn … he’d read every story he could find on the internet and had watched so much gay porn, he could practically quote each moan and whimper of the twinks in those films.   Ideally, in situations like these I prefer to start off with a little coaxing … playing with their mouths with a pinky finger, graduating up to their index finger and then making the jump to strapons and buttplugs.  However, this darling little cum catcher was already beyond these coercions … He’d called me fully prepared with a 10″ monster dildo, enough spit to lubricate a car engine and a promise to do whatever was necessary to learn how to take his first real cock in the next 45 days.  I laughed at his eagerness … and told him to hurry up and suck that cock down into his throat …

This was going to be fun …

For erotic phone sessions with Empress Ryan, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+ to call
Calls are $2.50 per minute with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to a major credit card
http://ratemycall.com

Go on … all the cool kids are doing it