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Mature Mistress

Mistress Ryan — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 11:00:24 +0000

It’s been said many, many times … perhaps too many times … that with age comes experience and with experience comes wisdom. For others, that statement may or may not be true. For me, it is quite true. Especially in regards to my experience as a Femdom in the BDSM lifestyle.

Now, it’s quite true that I am a mature Mistress … and I’ve spent many years playing with masochists and fetishists, as well as training submissives. All of that has taught me quite a bit about both this lifestyle I’ve chosen for myself and about human nature in general. It’s fascinating, really.

For example, a lot of the things that Skinner, the father of behaviorism, said about shaping behavior hold true for the training of submissives. Positive reinforcement (reward) works better than anything else a Mistress can do to get the appropriate behavior from her slave. The key, both in domination phone sex and in real-time submissive training, is to make getting those rewards a challenge. If the bar is set too low, the submissive becomes complacent and expects to be rewarded for everything he does. If it’s set too high, he will eventually give up and stop trying altogether.

The key is to find a happy medium, a place to set the bar where it’s not impossible to achieve the reward but also presents a bit of a challenge that the submissive is inwardly motivated to overcome. That’s how best to train a slave, whether he’s a phone sex slave or a real-life slave.

But I guess that holds true for everything in life, doesn’t it?

Donate Your Dirty Update

Mistress Ryan — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 20:20:23 +0000

As you all know, yesterday I donated all of my profits to the American Red Cross in honour of those who gave their lives on 9/11 and those who continue to give their lives in our armed services. I am pleased to announce the final total for all donated monies came to $686.40, which included some surprising matching tributes by those who were inspired to do so.

I wanted to say thank you … to everyone involved. Even if you didn’t get the chance to get through to me yesterday, everyone who tweeted, blogged or chatted me up in IM (and believe me, as the day grew long, those cheerful IMs letting me know how much you appreciated what i was doing came in handy!) made the day such a positive experience for me! For those of you who donated on your own, I want to say thank you for thinking of others, even during our current economic disaster situation.

Especially, a HUGE thank you to Ms Christine who joined me in my dirty donation to the Red Cross today

Again, thank you for your time, your support, your coffee (my goodness, the coffee was astounding … especially by the 10th cup … wait, what do you mean I’m not supposed to buzz like a vibrator?).

Chastity Training

Mistress Ryan — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 11:00:27 +0000

I love tease and denial but I sense that some of you are ready to take it to the next level. What’s the next level you ask?

Chastity training!

If you can hold off from coming for a few days, what about a few weeks? Chastity training is a great way to prove your worth as a submissive to me. Having me control your cock for an hour shows that you have an interest, but doesn’t really prove your dedication. As with all things, your true colours shine through the longer you do something … the more effort you put into it. Chastity slaves aren’t just going for a few kicks … they want to do MORE.

You want to be more than just your average submissive, don’t you?

Consistent male orgasm denial shows that you are truly dedicated to me. It proves that you aren’t going to hang up, jerk off and forget about your promises to me. It’s a skill, in as much as my controlling you is a skill … and you have to learn to perfect your skill by practicing … a LOT. One just can’t go from jerking off all the time to complete denial. The overload alone would set you up for failure … that’s why there’s chastity training.

Chastity training helps you push past your limits so you can go farther and farther. Let’s say you haven’t jerked off in a day and I’m pushing you to the edge with my tease and denial games. You want to cum so bad that your body is trembling. I will push forward and make you hold out just a little bit longer. Maybe one minute or five minutes longer than your ‘previous record.’ Each time, I will push you just a little beyond where you were before … and then soon you will be able to go for days.

So what’s in it for you?

Let me ask you: Have you ever had an orgasm after waiting a couple of days. It’s always better, isn’t it? Imagine waiting a couple of weeks. Besides, your true pleasure should come through pleasing me. Watching you survive chastity training makes me very happy indeed. If you survive it that is. Knowing that, throughout the day I imagine you fidgeting inside your chastity device … that even just a single email from me will cause you to swell and push against your tube gives me a perverse delight.

So tell me, are you up for the challenge? Are you willing to put your cock in my hands and beg me to control it?

If you are, then are you very lucky indeed. Tell me how long you have gone without cumming. I want to hear every detail. How long you lasted and what finally made you break. Then I will determine whether you are a good candidate for my chastity training program. I’m sure you are. I can take any guy and turn them into my cock controlled sub.

How ‘bout it?

For an erotic phone session with Mistress Ryan, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+
Calls are $2.50 per minute,. with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to your credit card
http://ratemycall.com

Erotic BDSM Conversations

Mistress Ryan — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 06:11:27 +0000

I think by now everyone knows that I’m a Lifestyle Mistress. I travel a few times throughout the year to different events, occasionally speak at fetish groups and generally enjoy my kink for all it’s worth. I love what I do and the people I am privileged to do it with (get your mind out of the gutters, I didn’t mean it like that!). One of the things that I have always considered to be important is education. If your kink is in the closet, everyone’s going to be afraid of it and I want to try and change people’s perceptions of what BDSM is, what phone sex is and bring things a bit more out into the open. So, how do I accomplish this?

Well, for starters this blog is a reference. Yes, there are kinky stories and little anecdotes but there’s also information to be had … a peek inside the day to day life of a Mistress and how to fit your kink into your life so that everyone is comfortable (I know not everyone can do this … which is part of the reasons why I so strongly advocate knowing what you want before you rush out to get it). I’ve been doing this for 20 years, both in and out of the public eye and I enjoy being able to share what I know (if only to advise you in how to sidestep some of the pitfalls I’ve taken over the years). But even that didn’t seem enough.

Adult phone sessions are another great way to pass information along. Inside a lot of the calls that I do with my boys, there are grains of truth about a particular kink. As we get to know each other and discuss your particular fetish, perhaps some information I’ve learned over the years might be shared in how to heighten the experience or perhaps take it into a new direction that entices your senses. Talking about different events I’ve been to might inspire someone to seek out a local BDSM event in their area. And still, I felt as though the vast majority of my knowledge was seeking an outlet.

Several days ago, I was speaking with the Mature Mistress, Vivian (who happens to also be a Lifestyle Femdom) and we were joking about some of the events we’ve been to and some of the things we’ve seen. She shared some of her treasured memories of play parties and spankings gone by and I was struck by the wealth of information she has simply by sheer volume of experience … and I approached her about the possibility of perhaps having a call that could be shared with everyone … something that would enable us to share what we know in a fun, informative manner. And she countered with doing a weekly podcast, available on the internet which we could make available to anyone who wanted to tune in and listen at their convenience.

Erotic BDSM Conversations with Ryan and Vivian was born!

Every week, Vivian and I will upload a free adult podcast which will be available on our blogs that will deal with different subject matter and things affecting our callers, friends and kinksters. If you have questions you’d like to see answered, you can submit them via email to either myself or Ms Vivian and we’ll happily answer them during our broadcast.

The first episode is available right now so click down below (perverts! I tell you, there’s just no saving you from your dirty minds!) and tune in every week to find out what fun, fascinating factoids might be available for your audible pleasure.

For an erotic phone session with Empress Ryan, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+
Calls are $2.50 per minute,. with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to your credit card
http://ratemycall.com

Punishment: What’s the difference between strict and sensual touch?

Mistress Ryan — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 08:53:01 +0000

Some time ago, I did a blog post about rewards. I mentioned that certain behaviors elicit specific responses and that Mistresses enjoy rewarding a submissive, whether it be a special time together or by allowing him release from his chastity training. What I glossed over in that post is the flip side of the coin … that sometimes Mistresses enjoy punishing their submissives and there are those out there who seek that punishment.

Punishment can come in a variety of phases … and can be used for specific purposes. There are those who use punishment as a tool for keeping their submissive under control … a way of negative reinforcement which constantly reminds the submissive of who the Alpha is. Some use punishment as a tease … laughing as they playfully spank or tweak a nipple. Each serves it’s need … but which is used on whom and why would someone want one vs the other is a rather interesting debate.

Some might question how you punish the unpunishable, such as masochists. Does one simply refrain from punishing someone who so obviously enjoys the feeling of a paddle thwacking against the tender flesh of their ass? How would you punish someone who revels in the intensity of sensation, no matter how soft or harsh? What are the differences? How do you know what to do?

It is the responsibility of the Mistress to know what each person needs. To know whether a masochist needs to be denied punishment, for the sheer pleasure of it or if they require an intense, muscle numbing session which will leave them dripping with sweat (as well as a few other places!). Knowing where to touch, when to touch and how delicately to do so is something I have practiced … perfected … and can teach you to learn about your own body.

Sweet and Sensual or Cruel and Vicious, I can give you what you need … I am the Softer Side of Mean

For an erotic phone session with Empress Ryan, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+
Calls are $2.50 per minute,. with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to your credit card
http://ratemycall.com

What kind of a man are you?

Mistress Ryan — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 04:05:11 +0000

It’s a valid question, I think … and quite simple to answer if you put your mind to it. Are you the big, burly Alpha Male who rules with an iron fist or the soft spoken, sissified wimp who cowers to his Alpha Female at every opportunity?� Both men have their place … and their uses in the world.� Even a Mistress such as myself can find pleasure in being with an Alpha Male … the mental Olympics that 2 Alphas can put each other through is almost as good as attaining the head-space of a good scene.� However, I’m sure you’re asking yourself what on earth would bring this to mind.� Why would I be asking now what kind of� a man you are?

Today, I went to see “The Wolfman” starring Benicio del Toro and Emily Blunt.� The movie itself is ultimately forgettable, with jerky storyline jumps and under-developed characters, but it does have a few moments which reach out and scare the death out of you in pure shock value.� Unfortunately, as much as it pains me to say this, I fear Sir Anthony Hopkins has passed his prime and has become much like an old, broken down shell of his former self.� His screen presence does nothing for any of the scenes he’s presented in and the half-hearted delivery of his lines is awkward at best.� It was his casting in the movie which caused me to ponder the types of men in the world … and to ask where you fall in the schematic.� I’ve decided, after much thinking, there are 4 types of men:

The Alpha Male – Strong, self-assured and bold, this is the kind of man who expects obedience from everyone around him.� Business or personal don’t factor into how he responds or reacts to the people in his life, it’s very cut and dry.� In terms of kink, men who fall into this category are sometimes sexual exhibitionists and love the idea of someone watching them stroke on cam.
The Once Powerful Male – An aging version of the Alpha Male, he still maintains his power but has relinquished some of the status afforded a man who has “Succeeded”.� His once fierce personality is tempered by the wisdom of age but he’s still got the bite of a lion when provoked.
The Pleaser� – He wants to make everyone around him happy.� He’ll do whatever is necessary in order to make sure those around him are impressed by his talents and praise him for them.� Cuckolds generally fall into this category, knowing their own inability to perform must be compensated for in some way.
The Wimp – This is the lowest man on the totem pole.� A true slave to those above him, his existence is validated through the approval of his Mistress.� He is forgettable and is terrified to realize it, but will readily do whatever he is instructed in order to “prove” himself.

So which are you?� Where do you fall in the grand layout of men and women?� I’d be interested to find out where everyone considers themselves.

For an erotic phone session with Mistress Ryan, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+
Calls are $2.50 per minute,. with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to your credit card
http://ratemycall.com

Oh baby … I just love a good … snow job

Mistress Ryan — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 12:20:41 +0000

I spent a good majority of Monday at the grocery store. I wanted to pick up “a few things” for the “Huge NorEaster Headed Our Way“.� I took a look over at the French Toast Alert System and saw that we were encroaching on a full “Elevated” status so decided to make a quick trip down and get the basics.� I picked up 3 gallons of bottled water, a gallon of milk, 6 quarts of half & half (for my coffee), 4 loaves of bread plus some powdered milk and a few other things.� I snagged a few boxes of cereal and some granola.� Came home, checked on my levels of driveway salt, the toboggan I use to get down the driveway and the sprayer for distributing rock salt after a good shoveling.� I was happy, settled in and enjoyed my afternoon … “prepared”, as any good New Englander should be.

Yesterday morning was crazy busy with getting everything ready to go on a day trip down to our offices in Massachusetts.� Taking the Commuter Rail is so much easier than driving into the city and I know I saved time (parking is a bitch in Boston on a normal day, let alone a snow emergency).� The trains ran on time and by the time I got down to the office, there was just the hint of snow in the air.� All over the news, people are talking about how terrible the storm is going to be and they are interviewing people who remember the Blizzard of ’78 (yes, it must be capitalized because it’s a Major Event …. think of the way the Father from the movie “A Christmas Story” spoke of his “Major Award”, the leg lamp … same mentality applies).� Everyone is in a panic, talking about how people are going to get stuck in it … people are going to lose power, it’s going to be tossing us back to the dark ages.� I admit I was slightly concerned that I wouldn’t be able to get back home in the later afternoon but thought I might stand a chance earlier in the day.� So, I took care of what needed doing and headed back North.

By the time I reach South Station, it was a wet “wintery mix” falling.� I was never so happy to see the car service waiting for me with a nicely warmed interior.� The driver helped me into the car, handed me my coffee (he knows exactly how I like to drink it) and off we went to the house.� I began noticing the roads weren’t that bad, not many people on the streets but, one never knows … that can change in a heartbeat on Boston streets.� Of course, by the time we reach my house in Salem, I realize that it’s not taken us long at all and the roads aren’t really that bad.� The newscasters are now saying the storm will hit during “rush hour”.� OK, so I missed it … that’s perfect.� Bobby helped me out of the car and walked me to the door, confirming the need for him to return on Friday and I stepped inside.� I watched the snow starting to come down off and on through the night.� I stopped listening to the newscasters so I could work some and take a few phone sex calls while watching the white stuff cum down.� Like most women, I was waiting for the big load to hit … I kept checking to see when the “blizzard-like conditions” would begin.�� I waited all night and, it is now 6:55am on February 11, 2010 and I’m staring out the window at … what … SIX inches of snow?� I had been promised a fuckin Nor’Easter damnit … I went shopping to prepare for a Nor’Easter … now what the hell am I supposed to do with 5 peanut butter jugs, 24 safety candles, 2 packages of D cell batteries, 2 9-volt batteries and enough AA cells to power the Citgo sign for a week.

The moral of this story is that I think I got snowed by Channel 7 Weather Team.� I feel like a wife on her wedding night …. she’s looked forward to this day for her entire life and she gets into bed, rolls over to her new husband, the man she loves and adores and wants to spend the rest of her life with …. only to find that he’s hung like a gnat.� She expected Ty Lattimore and got Bud Melman.� I exepected a Nor’Easter and I got SIX inches of snow.

So I got snowed … once again the meteorologists tricked me and pulled a snow job on me.� Perhaps next time, I’ll prepare one for them?� I mean … I have all the tools for some really nice CBT … all that’s missing is the 6′ high snowmound for them to experience a true New England Fucking.

New Beginnings … Anniversary of Becoming

Mistress Ryan — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 17:09:59 +0000

This morning … I was awakened by the most wonderful surprise.� After an evening spent ringing in the New Year with my 2 submissives (and oh what a wonderful ringing it was), they woke me up this morning with breakfast brought to me in my bed.� Havoc, smiling like a cheshire cat, carried a plate with waffles, maple syrup and bacon so crisp it crumbled at my touch while chaos presented me with a freshly brewed cup of coffee, made just to my liking.� For a moment I was suspicious they’d been up to something … after all, there is a reason I call them “havoc” and “chaos” … but I allowed myself to settle in and enjoy what they’d brought me.� We lay, sprawled out on the bed and enjoyed time together as a family before they sprung their intent.

Serving a Mistress is something that comes naturally to both of my girls … each brings something to our relationship that fits, much like a jigsaw puzzle.� Havoc brings a joy and wonder, serving because it is truly her nature … she shines as she performs, rushing to help bring me an implement of torment during a play session or to dictate how something should be set up in the house.� Chaos, with her masochistic urge to play hard and heavy, she brings me such pride with every welt on her skin.� Our sessions range from playful to perverse and she keeps up with every swing of my paddle.

Each of them brings me such pride, as any submissive should do for their Mistress.� And this morning, they cemented their places in my heart as they presented Me with a beautiful gold necklace … a charm of a diamond heart, scripted with “Love Always’ on the reverse … the part closest to my heart.

January 1st marks My anniversary with my chaos … it was 1 year ago today that she submitted … 1 year since she placed herself into my hands and accepted the guidance of a Femdom into her life.� And I have never had reason to be more proud … as both of my girls sat grinning at me when I put the necklace on this� morning, I am reminded that a Mistress can sometimes be surprised by her girls.

Of course … a Mistress must return the favour … and this afternoon, when I take out one of my favourite straps and inflict my gratitude on them … I’m sure they will know how much they are loved …

For a erotic phone sex session with Empress Ryan, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+ to call
Calls are $2.50 per minute with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to a major credit card
http://ratemycall.com

Dirty little secrets

Mistress Ryan — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 15:34:45 +0000

I have a secret.� Something I guard with my life because of it’s perpendicular nature to my personality.� I’ve had this secret for a long time and it’s been gnawing away at me for quite some time to just open up and let everyone see my secret for what it really is.

But I don’t know that I’m ready to do that just yet … I don’t know that I’m ready to expose myself quite so openly … what would people think?� What would they say if it were to become common knowledge that THIS is such a part of me?� For me, it’s like that first time you walk outside, dressed as a woman … You don’t know what people are going to think but you just have to do it (either because you’ve been ordered out of the house to be publicly humiliated by a Mistress or because you finally feel ready to introduce your inner girl to the world at large).� You have that flutter in your stomach that is either intense fear or intense arousal (so often, those 2 emotions go hand in hand) and you know there’s no turning back.� You put on a brave face (even if it’s made up to look brave), thrust your shoulders back and announce, with every strut of your high heeled shoes, that you are ready to take on the world!� You are fierce, beautiful and proud of who you are.

hmm … Perhaps this is where I’m going wrong … perhaps, because of the dirty nature of my secret, knowing that most people wouldn’t even begin to understand why I enjoy something so … odd … that I’ve allowed the world to dictate what I am and what I am not?� Maybe I can take a page from my cocksucking faggots who brave the annals of their own kink in order to achieve a heightened state of sexual arousal by giving in to their baser desires?� Would I be so brave as to proudly announce that I’m a … no, no I’m not quite ready to do that just yet … Perhaps some of you can help me … perhaps you can give me the courage to step forward and tell the world what my dirty little secret is … If you tell me yours, I’ll be more comfortable in telling you mine …

We’re winding down to the end of 2009 … 2010 is just around the corner, waiting to spill all of it’s secrets out for you to see … is THIS the year you resolve to lose that extra 10 pounds so you can fit into the latex Goddess Gown you bought for yourself?� Will you quit smoking?� Finally let your boyfriend fuck you?� The possibilities are endless for all you can accomplish in a new year … Did you accomplish everything you’d meant to in 2009?� Were there a few things that you did that hadn’t been expected?� We all rush around at the end of the year, lamenting that which did not get done and promising that THIS year will be different.

Pick a goal and tell me about it … call me so we can write it down together and check on your progress throughout the year …

Fetish Carols

Mistress Ryan — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 22:06:28 +0000

Sometimes the holiday spirit moves in us in mysterious ways … I discovered this earlier today when one of my lifestyle submissives, chaos, provided me with 2 versions of Fetish Carols.

Now I don’t call them Christmas Carols because there’s something wholly un-innocent about each of these little diddies … but I thought all of my fans and friends, faggots and sissy boys could enjoy a chuckle … even if it is at my expense.

~~~~
The Twelve Days of Ryan
~~~~
On the first day of Christmas,
My mistress gave to me
A paddle used to beat me.

On the second day of Christmas,
My mistress gave to me
Two throbbing buns,
and A paddle used to beat me.

On the third day of Christmas,
My mistress gave to me
Three clothes pins,
Two throbbing buns,
and A paddle used to beat me.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
My mistress gave to me
Four hot candles,
Three clothes pins,
Two throbbing buns,
and A paddle used to beat me.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
My mistress gave to me
Five burning smacks!
Four hot candles,
Three clothes pins,
Two throbbing buns,
and A paddle used to beat me.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
My mistress gave to me
Six floggers flogging,
Five burning smacks,
Four hot candles,
Three clothes pins,
Two throbbing buns,
and A paddle used to beat me.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
My mistress gave to me
Seven candles burning
Six floggers flogging,
Five burning smacks,
Four hot candles,
Three clothes pins,
Two throbbing buns,
and A paddle used to beat me.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
My mistress gave to me
Eight ways of serving,
Seven candles burning,
Six floggers flogging,
Five burning smacks,
Four hot candles,
Three clothes pins,
Two throbbing buns,
and A paddle used to beat me.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
My mistress gave to me
Nine cakes with frosting,
Eight ways of serving,
Seven candles burning,
Six floggers flogging,
Five burning smacks,
Four hot candles,
Three clothes pins,
Two throbbing buns,
and A paddle used to beat me.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
My mistress gave to me
Ten special spankings,
Nine cakes with frosting,
Eight ways of serving,
Seven candles burning,
Six floggers flogging,
Five burning smacks,
Four hot candles,
Three clothes pins,
Two throbbing buns,
and A paddle used to beat me.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My mistress gave to me
Eleven splendid strappings,
Ten special spankings,
Nine cakes with frosting,
Eight ways of serving,
Seven candles burning,
Six floggers flogging,
Five burning smacks,
Four hot candles,
Three clothes pins,
Two throbbing buns,
and A paddle used to beat me.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My mistress gave to me
Twelve canes a-stroking,
Eleven splendid strappings,
Ten special spankings,
Nine cakes with frosting,
Eight ways of serving,
Seven candles burning,
Six floggers flogging,
Five burning smacks,
Four hot candles,
Three clothes pins,
Two throbbing buns,
and A paddle used to beat me.

Now, I’m not entirely sure if that was a wishlist of things she wants for Christmas or an invitation to use each and every one of them over the literal 12 days of Christmas … so I’ve opted for both. I got her the paddle for Christmas last year … that means tomorrow, I’ll make her ass throb until it shines … much like this next little rhyme:

~~~~
Chaos, the red butt subbie
~~~~
Chaos the red butt subbie,
Had a very shiny ass
And if you ever saw her,
You would say she�s full of sass!

All of the other subbies,
Would watch and tell Ma’am more
They never gave poor Chaos
Any chance to not be sore!

Then one foggy Christmas eve
Mistress came to say:
Chaos with your ass so bright,
Please Bend over for more tonight!

Then all the subbies cheered for Me
As they shouted out with glee,
Chaos the red ass subbie
Your butt’s gonna be history!

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For a erotic phone sex session with Empress Ryan, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+ to call
Calls are $2.50 per minute with a 10 minute minimum
Discretely billed to a major credit card
http://ratemycall.com