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Phone Sex Advice

Mistress Ryan — Sat, 29 May 2010 03:09:17 +0000

The other day, someone mentioned to me that I remind them of Lucy. It took me a few minutes before I finally had to ask .. “Lucy WHO?” (As some of you know, I am somewhat red-headed and was hoping they didn’t mean Lucille Ball). Thankfully, he didn’t.

“You know … Lucy from the Peanuts comic strip. The one who tormented Charlie Brown and had the little stand that said ‘Psychiatric Help 5¢’ and used to hold the football.”

“OK. I know who you are talking about, but what on earth makes you say that I remind you of her? I’ve not done anything lately to shatter your self-image, nor to humiliate you for your shortcomings.”

At this point, he rolled his eyes at me and grinned. “No Ma’am, but you DO go out of your way to provide advice and guidance to those who are looking to expand upon their sexual knowledge. So really … you’re like Lucy in Leather.” (his grin is adorable, with 2 little dimples in his cheeks … and really, that is what saved him at this point in the conversation)

“Lucy in leather, huh? Does this mean Charlie Brown is my bitch? … and is Stewie the football headed baby our bastard love child?”

The conversation denigrated from there but now that I sit back and think about it … I suppose I am a bit like her. A great majority of my day is spent advising and dispensing knowledge to those who are looking to find something new about their sexual fetishes or discover a new kink. I enjoy talking to men who get on cam and show off how to masturbate, perhaps telling them about a new technique they haven’t tried before. It excites me to speak with a pathetic cuckold who’s wife is just now out satisfying her urge for huge cock, while he sits at home washing her lingerie. Of course, having him hand wash her pretty panties while my strapon is buried inside his hole just makes it so much more arousing for me.

So I guess I am a bit like Lucy in Leather. I’m willing to share my knowledge, dispense my advice and every once in a while … watch you fall flat on your ass when I move the football.

For an erotic phone session with Miss Ryan, call 800-601-6975
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Learning to Dance (The Faggot Within)

Mistress Ryan — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 19:58:11 +0000

You’ve all done it, I know you have. You’re at the club, hanging out with the guys and having a few drinks after work when your eyes start to wander. Bodies all pressed together, with the pulsing throb of music in the background, it’s normal to watch people isn’t it? First you check out a few chicks … after all, who doesn’t appreciate a beautiful woman, dressed up to show off her smoking hot body even with her boyfriend right behind her? You watch the way her body wraps itself around his … the way her fingers lace together on his hips as he grinds against her. You catch yourself fidgeting in your seat as you watch them practically fucking on the dance floor. Her eyes catch yours and she smiles … putting a little extra bump in her grind.

Her body is magnificent in a shiny little pink dress that barely hugs her chest and tucks in against her waspish waist. Long legs twine themselves around his jean covered ones as they dance … they look almost perfect together. You can see the shimmer on her arms as she runs her fingers down his powerful, well muscled arms. The way his chest expands when he inhales the perfume she’s wearing causes your heart to flutter in your chest and you can’t help but admire the way he moves every time those strong hips of his thrust … and that’s when you realize your eyes are glued to him and you’ve forgotten about the woman he’s riding up against. Your cock hardens in your pants as you watch him and you lick your lips, thinking about what it would be like to feel him rubbing up against you that way. The pounding beat of bass in the background only provides a rhythm that you can imagine setting as you taste the sweaty muscles at the side of his neck as he drills you against the wall while she watches you lose your faggot cherry. Shock registers as your mind draws up the image of you screaming against his neck as he penetrates you. You’re STRAIGHT, for fuck’s sake … guys don’t think about things like that! Real men don’t wonder what it would be like to be the bisexual bitch to a real stud! You try to focus on the woman again … to imagine what it would be like to push HER up against the wall and fucking her mindlessly but all your brain will show you are the images of his cock pushing between your lips as she holds your head down between his thighs. You tremble as you sit there with your friends, trying to play off being a real guy … pretending to be turned on by every chick who walks past. Another beer and you find the courage to turn around … to watch them as they dance together again, this time staring right at you as his hands clench her hips and he pulls her backwards … over and over again.

When they leave the dancefloor, walking right past you and he brushes his hard cock against your thigh … you can’t help it … you make your excuses to your friends and you follow …

I’ll give you what you need … the Softer side of Mean

For an erotic phone session with Enchantrix Ryan, call 800-601-6975
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Calls are $2.50 per minute,. with a 10 minute minimum
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Small Flake Humiliation anyone?

Mistress Ryan — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 03:36:35 +0000

Living in New England has afforded me the opportunity to become intimately familiar with some pretty outstanding weather-related phenomena.� I was around for the Blizzard of ’78 (please reference my post about the humiliating disappointment that was our last Nor’Easter), the letdown that was “Hurricane Gloria” and the sadly accurate No Name Storm, which took the lives of some of Gloucester’s finest fishermen (The Perfect Storm was the movie adaptation … I still can’t watch it without bursting into tears).� One would think, after all this time, that I wouldn’t be surprised by something the weather does around here.� And yet, one would be incorrect.

I awoke yesterday morning to a dusting of snow that just looked so pretty I couldn’t resist snapping a picture of it from my office window.� So typical of classic New England charm, this is what my neighborhood looks like when the tiny flakes of snow all come together to blanket our homes and gardens.� Which, of course, begs the question … if tiny flakes look this good all bundled together, what about small penises?� If we gather all the small penis losers together, do they come together to make one beautiful cock?� Or would we just be standing around, laughing at a bunch of little dick morons?� (I really hate to think of the mental image that just cropped up into my head, thinking of a bunch of lily-white men with unfortunate blessings standing around naked in a room, trying to make one good looking dick).� Carrying the theme, if we put all the cuckolds together in one bundle, would they measure up to a bull’s girth or would they continue to fail to satisfy anyone with their ability and aptitude?� The questions are almost too much to ponder in one evening.

So instead, I shall look out the window at the evening stars as they glisten and glimmer in the snow blanketing my neighborhood and have a cup of fresh coffee, preparing to spend the evening doing things that would make even the dirtiest of snow appear pure.

Ciao,

For an erotic phone session with Empress Ryan, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+
Calls are $2.50 per minute,. with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to your credit card
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What kind of a man are you?

Mistress Ryan — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 04:05:11 +0000

It’s a valid question, I think … and quite simple to answer if you put your mind to it. Are you the big, burly Alpha Male who rules with an iron fist or the soft spoken, sissified wimp who cowers to his Alpha Female at every opportunity?� Both men have their place … and their uses in the world.� Even a Mistress such as myself can find pleasure in being with an Alpha Male … the mental Olympics that 2 Alphas can put each other through is almost as good as attaining the head-space of a good scene.� However, I’m sure you’re asking yourself what on earth would bring this to mind.� Why would I be asking now what kind of� a man you are?

Today, I went to see “The Wolfman” starring Benicio del Toro and Emily Blunt.� The movie itself is ultimately forgettable, with jerky storyline jumps and under-developed characters, but it does have a few moments which reach out and scare the death out of you in pure shock value.� Unfortunately, as much as it pains me to say this, I fear Sir Anthony Hopkins has passed his prime and has become much like an old, broken down shell of his former self.� His screen presence does nothing for any of the scenes he’s presented in and the half-hearted delivery of his lines is awkward at best.� It was his casting in the movie which caused me to ponder the types of men in the world … and to ask where you fall in the schematic.� I’ve decided, after much thinking, there are 4 types of men:

The Alpha Male – Strong, self-assured and bold, this is the kind of man who expects obedience from everyone around him.� Business or personal don’t factor into how he responds or reacts to the people in his life, it’s very cut and dry.� In terms of kink, men who fall into this category are sometimes sexual exhibitionists and love the idea of someone watching them stroke on cam.
The Once Powerful Male – An aging version of the Alpha Male, he still maintains his power but has relinquished some of the status afforded a man who has “Succeeded”.� His once fierce personality is tempered by the wisdom of age but he’s still got the bite of a lion when provoked.
The Pleaser� – He wants to make everyone around him happy.� He’ll do whatever is necessary in order to make sure those around him are impressed by his talents and praise him for them.� Cuckolds generally fall into this category, knowing their own inability to perform must be compensated for in some way.
The Wimp – This is the lowest man on the totem pole.� A true slave to those above him, his existence is validated through the approval of his Mistress.� He is forgettable and is terrified to realize it, but will readily do whatever he is instructed in order to “prove” himself.

So which are you?� Where do you fall in the grand layout of men and women?� I’d be interested to find out where everyone considers themselves.

For an erotic phone session with Mistress Ryan, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+
Calls are $2.50 per minute,. with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to your credit card
http://ratemycall.com