When introducing a strapon to your phone sex session, some key points to make a note of are:

1. Size Matters!  When you are first beginning, you don’t jump right to the biggest and baddest strapon you can find and just make it fit.  In order to get the most from your strapon session, you have to start small and graduate up to a larger size.  Personally, I have most of my ass virgins start off with something like a butt plug, or a 4″ dildo and slowly build them up to the next size.  A good rule of thumb is “When you can take it all, it’s just too damn small”  Graduate by inches … not feet.
   
2. Lube, despite what you might have seen in every porn movie ever made, is your friend.  You simply aren’t built to take a 12″ monster without a generous amount of lubrication.  And no, I’m not talking about Spit N’ Sit here either.  Think commercially available lubrication … Something like System Jo Anal Lube, which works WONDERS for getting slippery.
3. Wrap it up! When engaging in strapon play with your Mistress, condoms (much like lube) are your friend.  They make cleaning up after yourself much easier and, as a bonus you can practice your oral presentation skills by putting the condom on with your mouth!
4. Research your Mistress! This is probably the most important thing to remember.  Every phone Mistress has her own style, or nuance that she brings to her sessions.  Some are sweet and gentle, while others are vicious and cruel.  You want to find a Mistress that has a personality that works for you outside of just the one strapon session … As your relationship builds with her, she can help you to continue your anal training up to the point that you are comfortable (even if sometimes she pushes your limitations).  If you don’t usually respond well to humiliation, you probably don’t want a woman who specializes in it to be training you, nor do you want someone who will be too nice if you are the type who will try to top from the bottom.

I can hear some of you backpedaling away from me right now but I’m going to say it … strapons aren’t just for faggots and bi-curious men.  Strapons can be used to intensify the orgasm of anyone … including straight men!  There are as many nerve endings in my clitoris as in your ass … bet you didn’t know that, but it’s true.  At the point of orgasm, anything which stretches or holds the sphincter open will intensify the orgasm … making the experience far more memorable for both you and your Mistress.

Until next time, this is your Phone Sex Primer being brought to you by the Softer Side of Mean!

For an erotic phone session with Empress Ryan, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+
Calls are $2.50 per minute,. with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to your credit card
http://ratemycall.com

Which brings us to an interesting topic … and one that fits nicely with our previous talk.  How long does your denial last?  At which point do you drift out of the realm of denial and into the early stages of chastity training?  Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to necessarily be wearing a chastity device to be considered chaste (but they DO help … and just look so perfect on, don’t you think?).  If you’ve spent any amount of time being denied your orgasm, and have been training to hold off on that moment until given permission … you are in effect, in chastity.  However, achieving such a level of self control is time consuming and, while you are learning … well sometimes, you just need a little assistance.  Like training wheels on your first bike … something to keep you honest.  There are a huge variety of chastity devices in the market, varying from the very simple to the very complex.  You don’t necessarily have to go out and buy something very high end for your first device, but you definitely want something that is well made and has a good reputation.  Personally, I find the CB6000 to be a perfect beginners device because it’s easier to size, comes with a variety of options for locking and is quite durable.  The polycarbonate material is hygienic, which makes it easier to use for longer periods of time and the plastic locks that come with the 6000 series are perfect for distance chastity training.

Of course, the first question that comes to mind for most would be “What do you get from an activity like that?”  Why would a woman want to be a keyholder for a man and what does she get from the experience?  It wouldn’t seem to do much for a woman, would it?  But that’s where you circle right back around to the basic premise behind phone sex and the D/s lifestyle.  What do I get?

Power.

What turns me on?

Power.

Do you see where this is going? Power is sexy … it’s beautiful … it’s demanding and it’s a level of intensity that can’t be gotten from just the occasional denial.  You should see it from my end.

The Softer Side of Mean

For an erotic phone session with Mistress Ryan, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+
Calls are $2.50 per minute,. with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to your credit card
http://ratemycall.com

Punishment can come in a variety of phases … and can be used for specific purposes.  There are those who use punishment as a tool for keeping their submissive under control … a way of negative reinforcement which constantly reminds the submissive of who the Alpha is.  Some use punishment as a tease … laughing as they playfully spank or tweak a nipple.  Each serves it’s need … but which is used on whom and why would someone want one vs the other is a rather interesting debate.

Some might question how you punish the unpunishable, such as masochists.  Does one simply refrain from punishing someone who so obviously enjoys the feeling of a paddle thwacking against the tender flesh of their ass?  How would you punish someone who revels in the intensity of sensation, no matter how soft or harsh?  What are the differences?  How do you know what to do?

It is the responsibility of the Mistress to know what each person needs.  To know whether a masochist needs to be denied punishment, for the sheer pleasure of it or if they require an intense, muscle numbing session which will leave them dripping with sweat (as well as a few other places!).  Knowing where to touch, when to touch and how delicately to do so is something I have practiced … perfected … and can teach you to learn about your own body.

Sweet and Sensual or Cruel and Vicious, I can give you what you need … I am the Softer Side of Mean

For an erotic phone session with Empress Ryan, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+
Calls are $2.50 per minute,. with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to your credit card
http://ratemycall.com

Taking it one step further, what about some women causes them to become ultra sensual whereas others become more harsh?  If one does take the extreme, is it possible to flip back and forth between the two?  To be both sides of the coin?

Of course it is!  Women are a study in duality … compassionate and indifferent at the same time … light and dark wrapped inside the same physical presence.  A woman who nurtures is the same woman who will cut you with her tongue, humiliating you for failing to live up to the simplest of tasks.  A Mistress who would cradle you in her arms is the same who will laugh with cruel delight as you strain to obey her command and ruin your orgasm. It’s what draws a man to her … the need to be punished and rewarded in the same place.

Some might argue that punishment isn’t their “thing” … other would claim they do as they are told without the need for reward (good boys always earn rewards … like free adult audios). The truth of the matter is that a woman represents both extremes, whether she be soft or cruel … sweet or nasty. Elegant and edgy … that’s what you need from a woman like myself.

Lucky for you … I know what you need.

The Softer Side of Mean

For an erotic phone session with Mistress Ryan, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+
Calls are $2.50 per minute,. with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to your credit card
http://ratemycall.com